I spent six hours trying to sleep. Trying and failing horribly. I suppose I’d see this as some sort of metaphor if I wasn’t too tired to think.
Eventually I gave up on sleeping. I put on my sneakers, and pulled an over-sized sweater over my t-shirt and shorts like some 1980’s anorexic and ran at 5:30 in the morning. But I didn’t just run, I sprinted. My feet were so loud on the pavement and the air was so cold. And I just went faster and faster until I was sure I’d trip or fly. It had been so long since I’d run, really run. And soon, too soon, my lungs started worrying, saying I couldn’t keep this up long, and my legs chimed in. But I didn’t want to stop. I wanted to RUN. I threw my arms out and leaned into the finish, half falling, half laughing.
It all just seemed so lovely. To be up before the sun and sprinting in December. Even the metallic “fuck-I’m-out -of-shape” taste in my mouth struck me as particularly poetic. It was just that silly high you get from lack of sleep and your subconscious seeps into the daylight so everything is a dream. Still I loved it.